You Have Two Cows: Politics and Social Principles Simplified

This is one of those jokes that I got forwarded to my email. I do not remember who sent this to me, but I thank them nonetheless.Politics Simplified
Feudalism:
You have two cows. Your lord takes a significant share of your milk.

Pure Socialism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

Bureaucratic Socialism:
You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need. You go hungry.

Fascism:
You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

Pure Communism:
You have two cows. Your neighbours help you take care of them and you all share the milk.

Russian Communism:
You have two cows. You have to take care of them but the government takes all the milk. You go hungry.

Cambodian Communism:
You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you. You would've been hungry, but you're dead.

Libertarian/Anarcho-Capitalism:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

Social Principles Simplified
Dictatorship:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

Pure Democracy:
You have two cows. Your neighbours decide who gets the milk.

Proportional Representation Democracy:
You have two cows. A panel reflecting your neighbours' views argue at length who gets the milk and comes to no agreement. Months later, a compromise is drawn up where everyone gets orange juice.

Direct Representation Democracy:
You have two cows. Your neighbours pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

Bureaucracy:
You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you enough to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

Pure Anarchy:
You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbours try to take the cows and kill you.

Surrealism:
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

See? SEE? Even the cynic who penned this joke knows there is a difference between socialism and communism!!!

(photos from farmpower.com and tlarson.com respectively)