Laughs of the week

The only late-night shows I (loosely) follow are The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. After seeing these two clips, however, I might just add Jimmy Kimmel Live to the list. The first clip is Portia De Rossi's Prop 8 PSA, and the second clip, well, made me laugh until I cried and my stomach hurt. Enjoy!

Adultery = Criminal in South Korea

Upon first reading this article, I had to double check which Korea it was about. It may be an over-simplification, but when one thinks of how the two Koreas are different, it can be said the North is backwards and the South is more forward, like the US.

But wait – in parts of the US, adultery is still punishable by law, which leads me to ask: Should an extramarital affair be deemed criminal?

Of course not. The only time adultery should ever be considered in a legal proceeding is whilst negotiating a divorce settlement, as the adulterer did break his/her oath. Anything past that is ridiculously outdated in the western world.

Can the same be said about South Korea? I am not in a position to confidently say that revoking the Anti-Adultery Law would be ‘damaging to social order’. Taking the circumstances in which the law was originally enacted into consideration (namely that it happened in 1953 and only applied to married women), I think the main question becomes: Does South Korea consider itself a forward-oriented country?

Image source: blinkbing.blogspot.com

A musical you don't want to miss!

Love it!

See more Jack Black videos at Funny or Die

Let’s get it on… Let them eat cake!

Let’s get it on…
I know this is another article about pastors and sex, but I could not resist commenting on Reverend Ed Young’s advice. Simply put, Rev. Young believes it is time to “put God back in the bed” by means of a week of “congregational copulation”.

Before you call up your fellow parishoners and set up a holy orgy, I should clarify that the reverend’s advice is intended to help promote and improve monogamous marriage (sorry Utah). He delivered this message in front of and on a large bed. To really bring the point home, his wife was with him in jeans and **GASP** knee high black boots.

In all earnestness, the message is not completely silly. I do believe that a healthy sex life is vital in any relationship. The key in it, however, is that the sex should be fun and spontaneous, not forced. If you need orders from a reverend to have a reason to want to have sex with your partner, then you have issues that a week of pastor-prescribed fornication most likely will not solve.

Let them eat cake!
Unsurprisingly, this advice is aimed solely at married members of the congregation. I think it is a safe bet that one could extend that description to heterosexual, married members. The reverend went all Marie Antoinette on everyone else. His exact words:

I don’t know, try eating chocolate cake.

Er, excusez-moi? He did not just compare sex to chocolate cake, did he? Oh, yes he did. You hear that Lindsay Lohan? When you get an urge to do the mattress mambo, head to the kitchen for some chocolate cake instead.

Open to anything but sex

The Catholic Church is not always behind the times. In fact, it has a history of reversing aspects of its doctrine to keep up with the zeitgeist. It renounced usury in the 16th century, slavery in the 19th century and capital punishment in 1995.

When it comes to matters concerning sex, however, the Church shows no indication of budging. Be it marriage of members of the clergy (after having been ordained), homosexual marriage and intercourse or artificial contraception, the Church says NO.

Mandatory celibacy was not always a must for those wishing to dedicate their lives to the Church – it was made universal Church law only by the Second Consilium of Lateran in 1139. Despite that, there are exceptions. Men who are married before entering priesthood can do so and maintain their marriage. Is the devotion of an unmarried, celibate priest worth more than that of a married one? With fewer men entering into priesthood whilst the global Catholic population grows, will allowing young priests to marry not help to stop this shortfall? The Church says NO.

I am sure that there are those who will quote scripture forbidding homosexual marriage and intercourse. To them I say – I am sure many scripture-quoting individuals have coveted a neighbour’s wife. Amongst all the adultery, murder, lying and stealing, why pick the homosexuality guideline to stick to so closely? Is it not more Christian to grant everybody a legal relationship of mutual love, care and affection? The Church says NO.

Even more pressing is the rejection of artificial contraception. The Church cannot ignore the physical suffering from the AIDS epidemic in Africa, or the uncontrolled population increase in the Philippines, where it still has an overwhelming influence on daily politics. The means to limit the effects of either dilemma giving rise to a more hopeful generation are so simple. And yet, the Church says NO.

Weekend Summary

I survived my first single-mom-marathon after the arrival of baby #4! Needless to say, I am very tired; hence I am tapping my inner list-freak to summarise my weekend.

What put a smile on my face this weekend:

• Pleasantly surprised concierges - I always make a point of saying thank you. I suppose that does not occur often to a hotel concierege.
• A shortened single-mom-marathon - Hubby surprised me by catching an earlier flight home!
• As is tradition, he brought me home some yummy cheese and foie gras from Pa-ree.
• Baby said "mama" - I know he still does not associate the word with me, but it still makes my heart melt.
• Hubby's mom and step-dad - Always good for a nice kaffeetrinken.
• We went out visiting museums and random exhibits in the city. Upon seeing a case filled with crowns and tiaras, our younger daughter proclaimed to anyone who would listen that they belonged to mommy and papa because they are a king and queen.
• At no point did the children become uninterested or impatient in the museums and exhibits.
• Hearing that Bush claimed his favourite childhood book to be Eric Carle's "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". (The book was first published when Bush was in his twenties.)
  

What did NOT put a smile on my face this weekend:

• The Eurozone officially entered recession.
• My stores of Tim Hortons coffee are now completely depleted.
• Hubby's horrible hotel experience - First the hotel left him waiting outside the airport for the shuttle which was going to arrive "in ten minutes". It took over an hour for the shuttle to arrive. Secondly, he was first placed in a smoking room - despite his request for a non-smoking room. This mistake was very reluctantly rectified. Thirdly, there was patch of mould, about 75cm in diameter, right next to his bed. (All this at a four star hotel!)
• Dishonest people who cannot read - Upon hearing that he might be able to catch a delayed flight back home a day early, he spent between five and ten minutes away from his hotel room, at the front desk, to negotiate a free cancellation of his second night in person. He made sure he hung the do not disturb sign on the doorknob before leaving. When he returned, his bed was made up, and a 50 Euro note that he left on his bedside table was missing. The housekeeper was no where to be seen. Unfortunately, hubby could only place a formal complaint by risking losing the courtesy late check-in window that the airline offered him as an exception, so he left it as such.
  
• I forgot to recharge my batteries and had to leave my camera at home.
• The weather - I do not mind cold weather, but I do despise strong gusts of wind with spitting rain.
• An arrogant waitress - I do not care if you are having a bad day; you NEVER let it show to a customer!
• Hubby's aunt - She is completely oblivious and/or condescending to everything that does not interest her or conflicts with her priorities.
  
• CNNI - Enough with Tomb 33 already! It was interesting the first two times it aired, but that was weeks ago and it now seems to be aired with increasing frequency. Wait another six months and I will happily watch it again.
  
• Our planned road trip to the Harz Mountains - We had to postpone it for mid-December.

(Photo from AP)

Missing Hubby

Hubby is often away on business, and even though we’ve been married a while, we still have a hard time falling asleep alone. Yes, we are a cheesy couple.

Today, for the first time since our youngest was born in May, our home is Papa-free for more than his usual working hours. I have been feeling a little down all day, which is silly because he is flying back in two days.

Even when he is not out of the country, he still spends a lot of time at work. He, however, usually manages to be here for either breakfast or dinner, and he helps out around at home as much as he can. Now that our little army of rugrats has increased by one, there is so much more housework to do. I have not properly appreciated that fact until today, when hubby is not here to give his helping hand.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and makes our home seem bigger.

I suppose another reason that I feel crummy, other than the gloomy weather we had today, is that I wish I was in Paris with him. It appears I have adopted the need to travel several times each year – a trait integral to the collective German mentality.

I probably will not have the time to do much more than read a few blog posts and the news headlines as this single-mom-marathon continues. What is keeping me sane is our family road trip to the Harz Mountains on the 22nd. That and the cute little number I picked up for hubby’s visual pleasure; my way of saying thank you for all the help and support he has given me this past turbulent year.

"This is about the human heart"

**sigh**

He is still after my heart. There once was a time when given a choice between Colin Firth and anyone else, there was absolutely no question that I would have selected Firth. Now that I have started watching Olbermann's commentaries, I am not so sure.

Here is his response to the passage on Prop 8 in California - the banning of gay marriage. He is so eloquent and decisive... and that deep voice...

How the world almost came to an end for Hubby

Hubby found out earlier today that he’s flying out the morning the election results are revealed, which sent him into an almost panic attack. He’s pulling out all stops to make sure he gets his election fix…


Honey?
Yes?

You bought me Burger King.
Yes, honey.

You never buy me Burger King.
Yes, honey.

You also bought me maple-glazed doughnuts.
Yes, honey.

You know I’m on a diet, right?
Yes, honey.

You’re not supposed to give in to my cravings.
I know, honey.

I’m trying to get back into my pre-pregnancy pants.
I know, honey.

And why did you buy a Colin Firth DVD?
I know you love him, dear.

And why did you get a foot-cooling lotion?
Because you’re always complaining how tired your feet are, and I think you deserve a nice massage.

Honey?
Yes?

Are you trying to bribe me?
Is it working?

What do you need?
Could you wake up and watch CNN early on the 5th, so you could tell me on my way to the airport what the election results are?

Ah…. A foot massage, eh?
Yes, dear.

Will you add a nice neck and shoulder massage?
Yes, dear.

Can we go out shopping for a new coat for me when you’re back?
Of course, dear.

Will you let me buy you and our boys matching outfits for this year’s Christmas photo?
**cringing** Yes, dear.

You’ve got yourself a live updater election morning.
I love you.

Love you too, dear.

(image from newsin3d.com)

Making money by not having any sex/babies

No Sex

In Georgia there is currently a marriage contest in progress. An engaged couple can win $10,000 provided they open their wedding ceremony to the public, live separately before getting married and undergo premarital counselling. Oh, and they have to abstain - as in no premarital sex. Supposedly the goal of the contest is to promote marriages which will "really last a lifetime". That some people actually think preventing premarital sex is preventing divorce is beyond reason.

The contest is run by a non-profit organisation called MATURE - Marriage Appreciation Training Uplifting Relationship Education. (I wonder how long it took someone to come up with that?) Since 2006 they received yearly federal grants of $455,510, which will continue until 2011. What a preposterous way to spend tax revenue. Given a choice of having their tax dollars spent on health care or teaching abstinence, I believe most Americans would choose health care.

So how many couples have signed up for the opportunity to replace premarital sex with premarital counselling?

Zero. Shocker.

No Babies

A Louisiana legislator has suggested paying $1000 to women on welfare and food stamps if they have themselves sterilised. This is just WRONG. Never mind the fact that this is a lawsuit of discrimination against the poor waiting to happen. Dangling money in front of the poverty-stricken is not the way to go. They will make the decision based on the fact that they need the money, not thinking of possible future consequences.

Again, this is potentially a waste of tax revenue. $1000 is not going to take the destitute off of welfare or eradicate the less fortunate. This money is better spent on education.

The Pursuit of Attention - Part Two / Das Streben nach Aufmerksamkeit - Teil Zwei

Last Saturday I wrote about my occasional struggle to get hubby’s attention. To be fair, I can be just as irritating at times…

Hubby: Have you seen my white shirt?
Me: (reading a novel) Mm-hm.
You have?
Mm-hm.
You haven’t.
Mm-hm.
(groans) Are you listening to me?
Mm-hm.
I see. In that case, you should know that the kids didn’t hide the extra change you left on the counter. I took it so I could buy the latest Economist.
Mm-hm.
I gave the kids the rest of your favourite cookies.
Mm-hm.
(loudly) Honey, please, have you seen my white shirt?
Mm-hm.
(pauses, then in a whisper) I’ll give you a back and foot rub later.
(suddenly alert) What? Oh – I knew the kids didn’t hide the change, that you bought the Economist, and that you gave the kids the rest of the cookies. That’s why I hid the magazine from you – so I could get first read. Plus I took some change out of your wallet to go shopping for more cookies. Your shirt is hanging on our bedroom door underneath my pink blouse. And I’ll put the kids to bed a little earlier tonight for that massage you’re going to give me. (big smile)
Argh! If you were really listening, why didn’t you just answer my question right away?
Because Bridget's about to find out that Mark really loves her. (sighs)
(with a quirky smile) Admit it - you wanted a massage.
(smiles "innocently") Um, no. That was a bonus.





Am samstag habe ich über die Schwierigkeiten, die Aufmerksamkeit meines Schatzes zu erlangen, geschrieben. Ich kann manchmal genauso frustrierend sein...

Er: Hast du mein weißes Hemd gesehen?
Ich: (gerade ein Taschenbuch lesend) Mm-hm.
Hast du?
Mm-hm.
Hast du nicht.
Mm-hm.
(murrend) Hörst du mir überhaupt zu?
Mm-hm.
Verstehe. Also gut. Jetzt kann ich dir sagen, daß die Kinder dein Wechselgeld nicht versteckt haben. Ich hab's genommen, so daß ich den aktuellen Economist kaufen konnte.
Mm-hm.
Und ich habe den Kindern alle übergebliebenen Lieblingskekse von dir gegeben.
Mm-hm.
(lauter) Schatz, bitte! Hast du mein weißes Hemd gesehen, oder nicht?
Mm-hm.
(seufzt, dann geflüstert) Ich werde dir nacher eine Massage geben.
(sofort aufgeweckt) Was? Ach ja - ich wusste schon, daß die Kinder mein Wechselgeld nicht versteckt haben, daß du das Magazin gekauft hast, und den Rest meiner Lieblingkekse weggegeben hast. Deswegen habe ich das Magazin vor dir versteckt, so daß ich es wenigstens zuerst lesen kann. Ich habe auch ein paar Mäuse aus deiner Geldbörse geholt, um mehr Kekse zu kaufen. Dein Hemd hängt an der Schlafzimmertür, hinter meiner rosa Bluse. Ich werde die Kinder früher ins Bett bringen, so daß du genug Zeit hast, um meinen Rücken und Füße zu massieren. (lächelt groß)
Mann! Wenn du mir die ganze Zeit zugehört hast, warum hast du mir nicht gleich geanwortet?
Ich war mit dem Buch zu beschäftigt. Bridget findet gerade raus, daß Mark Darcy sie wirklich liebt. (Seuftz)
(Mit einem verschmitzten lächeln) Gib' es doch einfach zu: Du hattest es nur auf eine Massage abgesehen.
(lachend) Em, das war purer Zufall.

The Pursuit of Attention / Das Streben nach Aufmerksamkeit

Ugh. Men. Sometimes they drive me nuts… Women out there know what I’m talking about. Hubby and I just caught the final twenty minutes of Germany’s World Cup qualifier against Russia. I had just finished breastfeeding and needed hubby to burp baby so that I could go to the washroom. Here is how the conversation went:

Me: Honey?
Hubby: Hm?
Can you take the baby please? I need to go pee.
(doesn’t move) Hm.
So? Can you take him please?
(still fixated on the game) Hm.
Honey?
Hm?
Helloooo…..
Hm.
(loudly) Helllloooooo!
Hm.
(in a seductive whisper) I want you. Now.
(all attentively and suddenly facing me) What? Okay!
Argh! Are you kidding me?

He wasn’t, and to make matters more irritating, he isn’t a huge sports fan or a very patriotic German. When it comes to soccer, however, he’s proud of his black, red, and gold. Ugh.




Mann! Männer. Manchmal machen sie mich verrückt... Frauen wissen mit Sicherheit wovon ich spreche. Mein Schatz und ich haben uns gerade die letzten 20 Minuten des Deutschlandspiels gegen Russland angesehen. Ich hatte gerade fertig gestillt und wollte, daß er unser Baby mir kurz abnimmt, so daß ich zur Toilette gehen konnte. Hier ist wie das Gespräch ablief:

Ich: Schatz?
Er: Hm?
Kannst du mir bitte kurz das Baby abnehmen? Ich muss zur Toilette.
(ohne Bewegung) Hm.
Also? Kannst du ihn bitte nehmen?
(immer noch fixiert auf das Spiel) Hm.
Schatz?
Hm?
Halloooo?
Hm.
(lauter) Halloooooooo!
Hm.
(geflüstert in verführerischem Ton) Ich will Dich. Jetzt.
(vollständig geistesgegenwärtig und aufgeweckt) Was? Okay!
Mann! Das darf nicht wahr sein!

Was mich dabei am Meisten irritiert hat, ist daß er eigentlich weder ein großer Sportfreund ist noch besonders stark ausgeprägten Deutschlandpatriotismus hat. Wenn es jedoch um Fußball geht, dann ist er sehr stolz auf sein Schwarz, Rot und Gold. Mann!