How appropriate!

This week is International Babywearing Week. According to an email sent to me by Beate Uhse online, it is also National Climax Week.

I find this hilarious! Participation in National Climax Week this year would likely cause you to join International Babywearing Week next year. =P


Only in Continental Europe would you have a week dedicated to orgasms. And maybe, perhaps, also in Japan.

Missing Hubby

Hubby is often away on business, and even though we’ve been married a while, we still have a hard time falling asleep alone. Yes, we are a cheesy couple.

Today, for the first time since our youngest was born in May, our home is Papa-free for more than his usual working hours. I have been feeling a little down all day, which is silly because he is flying back in two days.

Even when he is not out of the country, he still spends a lot of time at work. He, however, usually manages to be here for either breakfast or dinner, and he helps out around at home as much as he can. Now that our little army of rugrats has increased by one, there is so much more housework to do. I have not properly appreciated that fact until today, when hubby is not here to give his helping hand.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and makes our home seem bigger.

I suppose another reason that I feel crummy, other than the gloomy weather we had today, is that I wish I was in Paris with him. It appears I have adopted the need to travel several times each year – a trait integral to the collective German mentality.

I probably will not have the time to do much more than read a few blog posts and the news headlines as this single-mom-marathon continues. What is keeping me sane is our family road trip to the Harz Mountains on the 22nd. That and the cute little number I picked up for hubby’s visual pleasure; my way of saying thank you for all the help and support he has given me this past turbulent year.

The love-hate affair between Germans and their rules

When I made the decision to move to Germany, someone “warned” me that Germans are, among other things, inflexible and in love with rules (or something similar to that – it was almost six years ago, so I paraphrased it). The warning was only partially correct. It is more accurate to say that Germans are inflexible and in love with rules, as long as those rules do not interfere with their comfort levels.

For example, two Deutsche Bahn conductors, in two separate occasions, essentially left two young teenagers stranded in rural areas far from home because they forgot their tickets at home. I understand that there will always be those who free-ride and ruin it for the rest of us. On these two occasions, however, an exception should have been made. The conductor could have taken note of the teenager’s address and DB could have clarified the situation afterwards – similar to the procedure when charged with a speeding ticket. I, myself, would also be infuriated if my 13-year-old was left stranded almost 50 kilometers away from home by an inflexible, rule-hardy conductor. At least one of the conductors have since been suspended, in addition to an apology from DB.


On the flip-side, you have the one rule that many Germans love to break: the non-smoking rule. It does not matter where you are – a subway station, restaurant, etc. – there will be someone smoking. What’s worse is that those people will argue the life out of you if you decide to point out that they are in a non-smoking area, which I often do. My favourite stand-off occurred inside an elevator on the way up to the train platform. Just as the doors closed, some nutcase lights up a cigarette and breathes out smoke into the faces of two of my children, both of whom were sitting in their STROLLER coughing! I pointed to the big non-smoking sticker on the wall beside him, and asked him if he really needed to blow cigarette smoke into the faces of my then one- and two-year-old children. He shrugged and said that it doesn’t matter because we were going to be in open air in a matter of seconds. I reminded him that the smoking ban also applied on the train platform. That was when I crossed the line. “Why do you people always try to take away our right to smoke!” he bellowed, before he huffed and he puffed all the way to the other end of the platform. Funnily enough, he continued smoking beside another non-smoking sign.

NB – Smoking is a passionate subject for Germans. They used their veto power in the EU to prevent a smoking ban from coming through. The non-smoking ban has been reversed for traditional Kneipen (corner pubs).

Yes, Germans can be very inflexible. I want to make it clear, though, that it is a stereotype, and that not all Germans are that bad – thank goodness!

"No, I am not an American!"...

...is something I am sure every Canadian in Germany has had to explain. I realise that with Canada being in North America, Canadians are, in a sense, American. Following that thought, however, would lead to the assumption that one can call everyone in North, Central and South America an American, which we all know nobody does. I am referring to the seemingly widespread interchangeability of Canadian with American.

I can see where this might stem from. The US has played a big role in recent German history. From the installment of the Marshall Plan up until the departure of the Clinton administration, the US was seen as a shining beacon and as THE ideal to be emulated. With all that PR, I am not surprised that Canada was viewed as not much more than 'the neighbour to the north'. I already foresee disagreements with my children's future world history teachers over things like the War of 1812 (if I am not mistaken, it is also known to non-Canadians as the American-Indian War).

Bottom line? Stating that a Canadian is practically an American is something you do not want to do, just as you would not call the Scottish practically English, or the Austrians practically German. For a crash course on what Canadians are proud of, please watch this brilliant commercial:



(Photo from freefoto.com)

Newly Found UK Generosity / Neueliche UK Großzügigkeit

My hubby brought home a UK landing card today with a silly smile on his face. "The Border Agency needs a proper German translator", he said, pointing to the bottom of the card. It read in English:

If you break UK laws you could face imprisonment and removal.

Underneath, the German translation read:

Wenn Sie UK Gesetze brechen sie könnten zu Haftstrafen verurteilt und Umzugsbeihilfen.

Why is this so funny? Firstly, for an official document, the grammar is unacceptably atrocious, in that it's just plain WRONG. Secondly, a German would understand their translation as:

If you break UK laws you could face imprisonment and receive financial assistance to your moving house.

Fantastic! If I need to move and want to save money in doing so, I just need to enter the UK and break a law. They say so on their landing card. =D


Mein Schatz hat heute, mit einem albernen Lächeln, ein britisches Einwanderungsbhördenformular mit nachhause gebracht. „Die UK Border Agency braucht dringend einen vernünftigen Übersetzer“, sagte er mit dem Finger auf den unteren Teil der Karte weisend. Auf englisch war dort unmissverständlich geschrieben:

If you break UK laws you could face imprisonment and removal.

Eigentlich bedeutet das: Wenn Sie UK-Gesetze brechen, können Sie zu einer Haftstrafe verurteilt und kostenpflichtig abgeschoben werden. Die deutsch Übersetzung der Border Agency hatte jedoch eine leicht andere Färbung. Sie las sich wie folgt:

Wenn Sie UK Gesetze brechen sie könnten zu Haftstrafen verurteilt und Umzugsbeihilfen.

Zu dieser exakten Abschrift der Karte, sage ich zwei Dinge. Erstens, GRAUENVOLLE Grammatik. Zweitens, fantastisch! Wenn ich UK Gesetze breche, bekomme ich Umzugsbeihilfen! Wo kann ich mich melden? Sie bieten es schließlich auf ihrer Einwanderungskarte an. =D